He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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