I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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