I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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