wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
