): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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