I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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