I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
