Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
