you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
