ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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