just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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