WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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