the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
