There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
