Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
