I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
