i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
