I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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