it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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