Sry I called you an 8
Betty ford says i'm here all night
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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