i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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