I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
