New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
