So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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