either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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