I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
