I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
