We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
