yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
