Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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