I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nicole vs. Life
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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