There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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