Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
