Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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