Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
