I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
