yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
