a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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