Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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