yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
