I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
