saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i believe in u and ur pee
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
