theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
