do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
