We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
