My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
