we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
