his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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