ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
