We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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