Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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