i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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